One Word Club – 2015: Part #3

A couple weeks ago we started talking about the journey that God has called us to this year by joining the one word club for 2015. We shared our one word for our family, Blair shared her word, and today I would like to share mine!

Matt’s Word: Selfless

When Blair and I asked God to lay a word on our hearts for 2015, I immediately knew that God wanted me to work on being more selfless. Specifically in our marriage…

It’s just one of those things that creeps in and will destroy the intimacy in your marriage if it is not addressed. If Blair and I want the marriage of our dreams, it will take hard work and intentionality. I have been learning that living selflessly simply means that I consider the impact on Blair for every decision and action I take. I am a very literal person and I do best when things are simple and measurable… So I have been working on this character trait specifically with the intention to demolish selfishness within our marriage.

Some of the ways I have set out to live a more selfless lifestyle is by these four actions that I am working on putting into practice daily.  By setting up specific things I can do everyday it helps me keep my bigger goal of being selfless in perspective while making it measurable for me so I can gage how well I am doing at working towards this character trait with God.

They are:

1. Considering Her Opinion.

Sometimes it is difficult to put my own needs or wants aside to focus solely on Blair’s. When I am selfish, it can come across as if I couldn’t care less about what she thinks or how she feels. Who wants that from their spouse? I don’t. If I want my wife to know that I love and care for her, then I will talk to her about decisions and actions before I do them. For example: I don’t take overtime at work without talking to Blair even though I know practically 10/10 times she will support me in the decision, but I still ask her anyway because I want her input, I want her to know that her opinion matters to me and I want her to know that she has a say in the decisions I over see for our family.

2. Being Intentional with Communication.

When we got married, we did pre-martial counseling. We went over all the basics. You know, finances, expectations, sex, communication, etc. I’ll be the first to admit that I probably paid the least amount of attention to communication. That is probably because I struggle with listening fully. I’m also not the best talker. Meaning, I don’t talk much. I am a private person by nature and it’s hard for me to share a whole lot. I managed to get through 22 years with “good” as an acceptable answer to the question “How was your day?” whenever my mom or anyone else in my family asked. So, as a family, we decided early on in our marriage that every day when we got home from work we would spend a few minutes just talking about how our day was to help improve the communication between the two of us. This was difficult at first but it has been a wonderful exercise in communication for us that has exponentially improved the intimacy in our relationship. We feel more connected than ever and have become better communicators because this action helps us to really blend our separate lives into one and do life together.

3. Being Her Safe Place.

I heard this on a christian podcast that Blair and I listen to regularly called Marriage Today a while ago and it has really taken root deep within me. I should be the one person on the planet that my wife can come to and share anything with. After hearing that I decided I was going to do whatever it takes to be Blairs safe place it changed the way I listened to her. Blair knows that I will not make her feel guilty, I won’t pass judgment, I will not get defensive and I won’t try to fix her when she comes to me with a thought or feeling or even just to complain. If there are distractions (usually a TV) I’ll shut it off because what she is saying matters more to me. I turn towards her and give my undivided attention. This was VERY hard at first and I still struggle with it, but when I show her that I can be trusted, when she KNOWS that she is safe with me, she feels secure in our marriage and I am freeing her up to be the woman God intended her to be.

4. Finding Ways to Serve.

This might sound a little too simple, but the easiest way to practice being selfless is to do selfless things. Little things like taking the dogs out, scrubbing the crock-pot or scraping ice off her car when we have a cold winter morning, go a long way to break the bad habit of being selfish.

Blair and I desperately want our marriage to be the best it can be. We are equally committed to unselfish behavior and because of that, neither of us feel like other has the better deal. Each of us know that the other is genuinely interested in the other’s well-being, that we put the others needs over each others and is committed to fostering a relationship that brings glory to God, is shaping us into the people God created us to be and in turn brings joy into our lives.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to drop your email address into the slot on the side so you can watch our little family as well continue in the daily journey of growing to become a better reflection of Jesus and His love in our marriage.

Matt

One Word Club – 2015: Part #2

Yesterday we shared about how we became members of The One Word Club for the year 2015 and one word that God had laid on our hearts as a family as a character trait that we needed to work on together for the year. Today we want to begin sharing the other two words that He gave us as individuals to work on for 2015, starting with Blair!

Blair’s Word: Peace

I could go on and on about the ways this life begs for peace, about the ways I personally need peace. Peace like a river. That phrase sounds so nice doesn’t it?!? We like to think of peace as something that is calming and tranquil, and in a way it is, but at the same time it’s much more complexed then that. We like to think of a peaceful person as someone who never gets irked, never feels hurt, loss or pain, and if they do, well then they just go with the flow and let it roll right off of them like water off a ducks back.. right?!? Well, God’s been showing me that’s way wrong.

Peace like a river doesn’t mean you will never feel the effects and weight of this world and the sin that is in it. It doesn’t mean that you will never have to deal with others cruelties because you just won’t let what others do bother you. Peace like a river means that when the bumps come, when the waters of life are high and intense, and when the storm rages you hold on to God and He sails you through it. No matter the outcome of the circumstances end up being, you will pass through when you give it over to Him.

Think about it. A river is not calm. It is fast and violent with currents that will sweep you right off your feet and to your death if you are not careful. The rocks are heavy. They are large and sharp. But the water just flows right over them, sealing in and around every broken crack and crevice. The rocks are like life’s big, fat, ugly, unmovable boulders of a situations but the water is like God’s peace. He won’t take the boulders out of your life’s river but if you give the situation over to Him, He will give you peace in the midst of  all circumstances so you can sail right over instead of getting stuck and hung up. I’m learning that things might not change in this world, but I can have peace in the midst of the struggles.

But here’s the best part! As children of Gods, He promises us peace even in the hardships of life! I can’t speak for anyone except for myself, but I can say with confidence that this promise brings such comfort to me.

• John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
• Isaiah 43:2 – When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.
• Psalm 138:7 – Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me.
• John 16:33 – I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
• Isaiah 26:12 – LORD, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.

To know that I don’t have to strive  but that I can find rest in Jesus. That He not only asks me to give Him all my worries and fears but gladly takes them, wants them even.  For a girl like me that can be an overwhelming amount. While, most women talk a mile a minute, I think a mile a minute. If you were to ask Matt he would tell you that in the time it takes him to think through a scenario I have already fully processed it as well as thought of almost every possible conclusion that could happen as a result! Basically, if I’m not talking then I’m thinking. I’m thinking about what someone just said or might say. I’m thinking about my response, what I should or shouldn’t say. I’m thinking about my actions, what I should or should not do and how to go about it. I’m thinking about others actions, what they may or may not do. Mostly, though I’m always thinking about the effects that the outcome will have on others, specifically my family. So for God to ask for my thoughts, for Him to take that burden off my shoulders is the most gracious, loving act He has ever given me through my salvation.

• Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

To know that I don’t have to worry about tomorrow because my tomorrow is already known by God. And that I can present my inner most thoughts to Him, and He hears me. He listens, and He handles it for the best possible outcome. Again, such a huge weight off my shoulders to know I am not responsible, and that I don’t have to make the call because God will. All I have to do is  be willing to follow the directions.

• Phillippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
• Isaiah 45:2 – will go before you and make the crooked paths straight; I will break in pieces the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron.

To know that I don’t have to fight for myself, because my Abba Father fights for me on my behalf.

• Exodus 14:14 – The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.
• Deuteronomy 3:22 -Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you.
• Isaiah 49:25 – For I will contend with him who contends with you.
• Proverbs 20:22 – Do not say, “I will recompense evil;” Wait for the Lord, and He will save you.
• Psalm 9:3 – When my enemies turn back, they shall fall and perish at your presence. For You have maintained my right and my cause; You sat on the throne judging in righteousness.
• 1 Samuel 2:9 – He will guard the feet of His saints, but the wicked shall be silent in darkness. For by strength no man shall prevail. The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken in pieces; from heaven He will thunder against them. The Lord will judge the ends of the earth. He will give strength to His king, and exalt the horn of His anointed.
• 2 Chronicles 20:15-17  – Thus says the Lord to you: ‘Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s … You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!” Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you.” 
• Isaiah 41:11 – Behold, all those who were incensed against you shall be ashamed and disgraced; they shall be as nothing, and those who strive with you shall perish. You shall seek them and not find them – those who contend with you. Those who war against you shall be as nothing, as a nonexistent thing. For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.
• Isaiah 59:19 – When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.
• Psalm 138:7 – Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace her whose mind is steadfast, because she trusts in you.

What encouragement and solace those verses bring to my mind. God has been teaching me about true peace and though this journey to genuine peace has just begun those scriptures are just a few of the “lullabies” He has been comforting this daughter of His with.

Well, thanks for coming back and listening to us talk about Blair’s word for the year. Join us same time, same place tomorrow to hear what Matt has to say about the word that God gave him to build his year around!

Much love & prayer,

Matt & Blair

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The One Word Club – 2015 : Part #1

Last year, around Marchish, we heard about The One Word Club as we were visiting with one of our best friends, Kristin. It basically is where you ask God to lay one word on your heart that you feel He is wanting to work with you on through out the coming new year. Then after that word has been given to you, you give it to God and promise to allow Him to work through that certain area in your life by choosing to live your life to reflect the meaning of that word in every aspect of your life from thoughts, to actions and everything else in between.

Like a lot of other people we know, around New Years we made resolutions last year too. We also make prayer-olutions which is basically situations, people, things and ways that we are going to intentionally pray for and about through out the next year. But this idea of allowing God to give you one word that He would like to see you better yourself in was really intriguing to us. We’re always talking about how we strive to do what God wants in your lives and through our marriage and family. Always praying for His will to ultimately be done in all circumstances, and though we feel that He is be pleased with our resolutions and pray-olutions we really liked the idea of letting Him lead us to the area in our life that He knows we need to work on most; the big ticket item that He wants to grow or remove from our life. So we decided this year that we would become members of The One Word Club personally and as a family. We started asking, for each other and ourselves, for God to show us each our one word as individuals and as a family and in early December He gave us three words. So today we would like to share one of those three significant words with you and what it has meant in our life and how we have been, and plan to, live out the year 2015, and beyond, in our little family of two, centered around this one word and personality trait of Gods.

2 Corinthians 9:6-11 “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.” Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

The Pomeroy Family Word: Generous

From the very beginning of our marriage generosity has always been something that we strived to be. But like many others, for us it is not a skill that is easily mastered. Some days we do really well with being generous and others are more of a struggle. When we were praying for a word for our family this year it seemed that generous kept coming up everywhere. It was the theme of the books we read, the conversations we carried and the topic that pulled at the heart strings of our marriage. We learned as we delved into the term more that generous does not just pertain to finances but to every aspect of life. It is a way of life that God calls us to because in all that He does, He is generous. And just like any good parent, our Abba Father longs for His children have the same qualities which are life giving, that He has in Him.

So in 2015 we are striving to be more generous with:

our time.

our love.

our talents and resources.

our grace and forgiveness.

our understanding.

with showing encouragement and support.

with our lives and hearts towards God, giving Him each day because it’s His anyways and He was gracious enough to put us in it.

with our praise.

with sharing our joy.

with sharing our trials and triumphs so others can find inspiration in God and how He works in the most unpredictable ways.

with our listening.

with our presence, giving others our full undivided attention when we are with them.

And not expecting any of it back in return. Just simply giving for the sake of giving. Giving to be a blessing to others, to be more conformed to the image of our Abba Father and to bring recognition to His name.

What about you? Is there a specific word that has been laid on your heart for your family? Is there an area that you can tell God is calling you and your spouse to work on in the next upcoming year to better align your priorities with His? If so please share in the comment section below because we would love to hear all about it as well as work towards our goal of being generous with our readers in supporting and encouraging each other!

We will be back tomorrow to share the other two words that God has laid on our hearts are individuals for this year. Until then feel free to sign up be email notification to watch our little family as we grow in The Lords ways daily. See you tomorrow!

Much love & prayer,

Matt & Blair

 

 

Favorite Christmas song

A couple weeks ago, as we sat around in the living room after eating an amazing Thanksgiving meal with family listening to Christmas music in the background and making room for pie, my sister in-love Carrieli asked us what our favorite Christmas song was. Sounds like a simple question, but to someone who absolutely LOVES Christmas music its honestly a tough decision. So the question she posed really got me thinking. What is my favorite Christmas song? If  I could only choose one to listen to over and over again on repeat and NEVER get sick of it, well, which one would it be? And thus my self revelation of which song is my most favorite out of all my favorites came into reality!

MY MOST FAVORITE OF ALL TIME CHRISTMAS SONG: 

1. The Night Before Christmas – Brandon Heath

This is the song that if you were to ask me now, I would say that without a doubt is my one and only MOST FAVORITE Christmas song. Like, I would and could, because I literally have, listened to this song on repeat over and over and have not gotten over it. I. LOVE. IT. Everything from the lyrics, to the composure of the music, to the emotion in the singers voice speaks to me on such a high level. It tells me each and every time that Jesus chose to come and put His perfect, sinless self in the middle of my personal mess. Not on the outskirts of it. Not close enough to touch it. No. In the very center of the entire thing!.. and He was never forced to, but chose too. Let that sink in for a second. He chose too! That means He wanted to! Now, if it wasn’t already personal, that fact right there makes it so. Jesus came down to Earth, made His self human, dealt with all the same things I have, experienced the exact same emotions I have, did it all with out sin, then went and died for all my sin on the cross, willing, just so He could personally pick me up, take me out of and rescue me from that exact same mess. All because He loves me, He wants me and He calls me His. Talk about a savior, but not just any savior, My Savior!  That is the true meaning of Christmas, and this is exactly why it is my favorite Christmas song of all time, hands down, forever, till the day I die, go to Heaven and can personally thank Him for what He had done for me.

MY FAVORITE TRADITION/ORIGINAL CHRISTMAS SONG:

2. Away In A Manger – Casting Crowns

Away in A Manger has a special connection for me. It was the song that my mom used to sing me to sleep with each night when I was little. I would request it every night, and I’ve been told that when I had my tonsils removed at the young age of three it was the only thing I asked for right after the procedure was finished, for her to sing it to me over and over and over again. It just always calmed me. I think the reason I was so soothed by it from a very young age is because I knew the reality of it. To me there could be a million things going wrong in my life but that simple fact that Jesus, again, came down to Earth to save me and that at the end of the day no matter what happens I am His, Jesus has put His claim on me because I accept His gift of salvation. I knew that then, I know it now, and if nothing else I will continue to know that one simple truth for the rest of my days on this Earth.

MY FAVORITE NON-TRADITIONAL/SECULAR CHRISTMAS SONG:

3. Better Days – Goo Goo Dolls

I actually don’t think this is suppose to be a Christmas song but to me it is. It doesn’t mention Jesus or what He did for us but I found a common thread between these three songs that come through in this one as well. The greatest gift isn’t anything you can get from a store, the greatest gift isn’t anything you can even give someone like others might tell you. You wont find it in a brown paper package tied up with string, as Julie Andrews would tell you. Nope. The greatest gift is Jesus, and He is where we find our better days even in the hardest, most desperate of times.

So there you have it. Those are my personal favorite Christmas songs, including of course, my one and only true favorite one out of all of them. Are you are Christmassy- loving person like me? Is it your favorite holiday too?!? Do you love Christmas carols so much that you may, or may not, listen to it year around, but only admit to it after November like me lol? If so we would love to hear about it! Write us in the comments below! Tell us all about your favorite Christmas song or any favorite Christmas thing! Can’t wait to hear from you! 🙂

Much love & prayer,

Blair