Why My Spouse Does Not Complete Me.

First off let’s open this can of worms by saying that we absolutely, without a doubt, 110 % do love each other completely and whole heartedly more than any other person in this entire world. After over seven years of being together, and knowing one another for nearly fifteen, we truly are one another’s best friends, biggest encouragers and each others favorite people on the face of this entire earth… but we absolutely, without a doubt, 110% do not complete each other.  This may come as a shock, or sound strange to some, but it’s the truth, and we are all about being honest here. To say that we complete one another would be to say that we were incomplete before we met, and that would be an even bigger lie.The fact of the matter is we were already wholly whole when we met and began our relationship, extremely young but none the less complete individuals. We both had, and still do have, our own hobbies, likes and dislikes that are totally different from the others. This is not to say that there are not a lot of similarities in what we enjoy. Make no mistake, we are not talking about compatibility, but completion.

You see the reason that we can not buy into the lie that our culture sells us about your spouse making you complete is because we know where, and who, our completion rests in, and it’s not in each other. Think about that for a second. Think about the pressure that comes with having to make someone whole, having to be their determining factor in life. That now that they have you they can say they are final, made 100 percent. That because of you they lack nothing, want for nothing, need nothing. That you are someones totality, someones perfecter. We can’t speak for anyone else, but between the two of us we just know putting such weight on another human being, someone who is flawed, makes mistakes and has moments of inherent weakness, is just asking a little too much. It’s really a pretty unfair burden to the person we are placing that expectation on. 

The truth is we were each created in our completeness and designed to find our wholeness in Jesus. Before the beginning of the world God knew our very names and already predestined to be in His family (Ephesians 1:4-5). He had already established our personalities, and opinions. He had already determined our little quirks that make us who we are (Psalms 139: 13-14, Ephesians 2:10). And in doing that God specifically formed us to want for Him. To find our completion not in another human being, who will let us down, but in an almighty, unwavering God who will never falter, even when we do (Colossians 2:10, Proverbs 3:5, Psalms 118:8). Because of this, we can’t go along with the social normality and profess to find wholeness in each other, because we don’t.

We find our wholeness in our God, in our Jesus, and through that completion in Him, He brought our lives together to compliment one another’s. And through that complimentary relationship, through that give and take of weakness and strength founded in our Lord, we accomplish the goal set out for our lives, marriage and family, to portray Jesus’ love for the world, to the world. That partnership is so much richer, so much deeper, so much more meaningful than the shallow counterfeit that is offered.

Why you ask? Because you get to be yourself and your spouse, the one person you just love and enjoy being with so much that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them, gets to be their self. You get to enjoy the beauty and benefit of working well with each other without loosing one another to the pressure of being that persons glue that holds their life together. You can see the good in the differences between you and your spouse. You can be grateful for the areas in life that they strengthen you in. God will work through those complementary areas to bring out the best in one another and create the most fullest version of life that you were both meant to live together.

Love and accept each other for who you were both created to be, for who you are independent of one another. Appreciate the things that are unique about your spouse and how God fashioned both of you two together, on your own, to work as a team. So that through your complementation of one another you can bring Him optimum glory united!

So for us we are thankful for our uniqueness. We are thankful for the perspectives and abilities that make us individuals and allow us to work well together. We are thankful that we are each different and that where one of us struggles the other triumphs because together we’ve got it all, and we would choose complementary over completion any hour of the day, day of the week or month of the year.

Much love & prayer,

Matt & Blair

Dreams Made For Two

Over the course of our, almost 3 year, marriage we have learned a lot of valuable lessons and gleaned much wisdom from the experiences that being married at such a young age brings. One of the most recent treasured truths that we have come to know though, is just how much you give to see your spouse succeed and meet the goals that are set for their life. Your spouses dreams become your dreams. The plans that God has set for their life are now forever and always intertwined with yours, and therefore becomes your destiny as well. You work just as hard as they do to see it come to completion. If there is a wavering moment of doubt, you will be the one to spur them on. When they need extra encouragement you are the one to give that much needed pep talk. When they need a little assistance you are the one doing anything and everything you can to help as much as possible. You are the one who gets to hold their hand during each new twist and turn. You are the one who gets to stand by their side through each new phase. And in turn you are also the one who gets to relish in the joy of knowing the gratitude that comes with being someones partner.  You pray with them, labor with them, problem solve and prioritize with them and in the end you get to share in the joy of triumph with them as no one else truly can.

We started this life long journey walking hand in hand, and, through thick and thin, that is how we will always continue.

Beginning our marriage during the middle of our college years taught us so much about this special place we get to hold with each other. From our wedding day till now we have been constantly pushing towards whatever the next step is in God’s plan for our family. Together we have had the privilege of having a front row seat to making so much that we had dreamed about become a reality. We have worked towards both of us earning and graduating with college degrees from The University of Kentucky. Likewise, we both had the honor of being their in the front row to support each other as we walked across that stage, knowing that without each others diligent support, encouragement and effort neither of us would have been where we were.

 

At Matt’s graduation from UK in December 2011. This is one of the many moments I have been so honored to call myself Mrs. Pomeroy!

At Blair’s graduation from UK in December 2013 as she walked across the stage and received her diploma as Mrs. Pomeroy!

We have worked together to help each other start up our own career paths and see the passions that God uniquely placed inside of us being used for the greater good of others as well as The Lords way to support and provide for our family. We have faithfully made decisions to move and decisions to stay based on whatever the will of our Lord is. We have prayed countless prayers, spent countless hours aiding in study and work, exhorted countless amounts of energy motivating or building each other up when one had been knocked down to move the vision forward together…. and for this gift that came through countless sacrifices, both big and small, we could not be more grateful. Being able to share in each others dreams, to truly make them our own as well, has and continues to be one of the most rewarding parts of our marriage. To see God, in all His infinite wisdom, take our two lives, our two sets of goals and blend them into one life, with one set of ambitions and one priority, to make Jesus known and paint a portrait of His love for each of us, through our marriage has been miraculous!

Matt, or Superman as they call him as work, with all his new UPS gear the Christmas after he officially started as a supervising for them!

Mr. Pomeroy Carrying his beautiful bride across the threshold to their 3rd home together and their first big move from Lexington, KY to Covington, KY.

A lot of times that hard work you put in is behind the scenes.  A lot of times you will go unnoticed by the rest of the world for all the dedication and effort you have invested to support your significant other in reaching the goals God has placed in front of them. And that is alright. We would go so far as to say that this is how it’s meant to be. Because in the end all that truly matters is that you are working together, striving toward that unified goal, to bring glory to Jesus through your marriage and all that you two are called to do together, as one.

We might not know exactly what the future holds for our little family, but whatever it may be we do know one thing. We will always face it together.

Much love & prayer,

Matt & Blair

 

Resurrection Day

Long before The Easter Bunny, Easter Egg Hunts and Jelly Beans there was a man who lived and died over 2000 years ago. Long before we sang about Peter Cotton Tail or looked forward to buying a new Easter dress to wear to church on Easter Sunday that same man gave up his innocent life so that we could find complete and total freedom from all of our sin in His perfect sacrifice. That mans name is Jesus, the son of God, the one true Messiah. He is our hope. He is our redemption.

The celebration of Easter is so much more then what we make it out to be. It is so much more important then what we give it credit for. Easter is the day we remember how we came to be free thanks to the promise that was fulfilled through Jesus when He was resurrected from the grave three days after taking our punishment upon His self. But death did not defeat Him and that is why we rejoice 200o years later! Because of Jesus’ victory over our death and sin we can live renewed in the truth that He paid the price so that He could offer us the most beautiful gift of love; eternal life with Him! John10:25-26 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:
And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. 

This gift has nothing to do with us. Whether we choose to believe and accept it does not change the fact that Jesus still bought it for us and wants to give it to us. We could never pay Him back for it, or purchase it on our own, it is simply offered to us. This precious gift is unconditional, just like Jesus’ love for us. That means after believing in and accepting salvation through Christ there is nothing in your past, present or future , no inward or outward mistake, no big or small sin, no blatantly disobedient or obliviously ignorant wrong doing that one can ever commit that would make Jesus take back His gift. He is not an indian giver because the gift has nothing to do with the receiver, instead it has everything to do with the precious price He paid, His sacrifice, and His sweet blood that covers all! Not partially all. Not all, up until  the day you became saved or the day after your salvation. Not only the little things or only the biggies. ALL! Meaning everything and anything that you did, could or will possibly do! ALL! His grace, His blood, His sacrifice, His gift of loving salvations covers all! It covers the rebellious. It covers the oblivious. It covers the ignorant. It covers the in denial. It covers to negligent. It covers the inwardly unknown and the outwardly obvious. It covers the little mishaps and the big mistakes. It covers what we make excuses for or try to justify. It covers what we can’t stop guilt tripping ourselves about. It covers whatever happened before we accepted salvation, whatever we are in the midst of at the moment, and all things afterward.

And that is what makes it true grace, because we are so undeserving of it, even after we accept salvation each and everyone of us are still completely unworthy and only through His sacrifice are we all covered!

So this Resurrection Day, and all to come, that is what we are celebrating in The Pomeroy home. The most sweet, sacrificial act of love ever known to mankind through the cross, and the blessing we have in receiving such saving grace because our redeemer lives!

Praying you have a renewed and refreshed Resurrection Day with all those who are loved in your life!

Much Love & Prayer,

Matt & Blair

Everyday Valentine

On our wedding day my sweet Aunt Jo gave Matt and I some of the greatest marriage advice, and  I am proud to say that we have put it into practice everyday since our family was established, some days of course, are more successful than others but none the less it is still used for Gods glory. This Godly, wise advice was “Work everyday at being a blessing to one another and you will be blessed.” Simple, sound and to the point, we took this message to heart right away. I am so glad we did because every day in our  810 days of marriage has been Valentines Day; a day to express to the other just how much you love, value and appreciate them.

Now, let me also say that I am all for celebrating Valentines Day as well as all other meaningful holidays that commemorate a relationship including, but definitely not limited to, anniversaries, birthdays and other special events. Matt and I celebrate these moments each year as well in our little family of two. We even have our own unique names for them such as our date-a-versary (the day we started dating) and our engage-a-versary (the Christmas Matt proposed).  So we are very much pro Valentines Day. In Fact, I  personally like it so much that if I could choose a holiday to be born on I think that Valentines would be it because it’s a day dedicated solely to expressing love for others and I think that is just so beautiful! Like many other couples Matt and I also celebrate our love for one another on Valentines Day each year, but at the same time, to be completely honest, it’s just another day in our marriage that we both wake up and decide to dedicate to The Lord and to one another. For us this daily commitment means that we are purposely going to utilize the time we have been given with one another to showcase our love throughout the entire day, everyday until the good Lord takes us home. Sometimes we do this through grand gestures and other times it’s through simple details, but either way one common thread exists and that’s making the other feel meaningful and important through expressing our admiration, encouragement, support, care and compassion for each other in that specific moment.

One thing that Matt and I have come to realize throughout our seven years of being together is that you are only given a certain amount of time each day and once that day is gone you can never get it back. This is why we never leave a word unspoken or feeling not shown between the two of us. If we have something on our hearts to say or do for one another we do it, and we don’t wait. We never hesitate to tell one another how much we mean to each other and we make sure to back up our words with our actions on a consistent 24/7 basis. Many of our friends and family have nicknamed us “The Honeymooners”, “The Newlyweds” and “The Lovebirds”, and after almost three years of marriage we take these nicknames as huge compliment. Of course Matt and I know that we are more in love with one another and that the love between us grows stronger each day. But to think that others that are close to us and view our marriage on a rather consistent level, whom we value and respect, see that same love between the two of us radiating on an outward level truly fills me with such gratitude for what God has given us and is doing through life, family and marriage. It is the little reminder that as we allow God to work on our hearts He is using them as a blank canvas to paint a beautiful picture of Jesus’  tender love for each and every human being. I feel honored every time this is brought to my attention that God would use us to portray His unfailing, unwavering love to the world and that others can vividly see that love through our relationship. It is honestly one of the greatest compliments we have ever been given as a couple because it is literally telling us that, even though we are far from perfect, we are living up to the expectations that God and ourselves have for our marriage on a daily basis.

All in all what I am trying to say is that even though Valentines Day, anniversaries, birthdays and other special occasions are wonderful, they should really be just another day in which we show our genuine love for one another in our relationships, whether that be in marriage, friendship or  family. We should strive each day to be a blessing to those that are placed in our lives so that we can better allow The Lord to showcase His magnificent love for us and others in a more clear, vivid way to the world.

How we spent our 7th Valentines Day together sharing our love and friendship with four other fun, encouraging, supportive and all around wonderful couples that God has graciously placed in our lives.

Much Love and Prayer,

Blair